why Jesus had to die for singaporeans

disclaimer: this post is just for laughs, a result of a little joke between a friend and i. other than the bibilical and historical references, this post is wholly fiction and is meant to make you laugh. it is not meant to disparage singaporeans. do sit back and i hope you enjoy this one.

i refer to the books of exodus - deutronomy

why Jesus had to die for singaporeans

1. because we cannot sacrifice animals in worship

• in the early years of its development, singapore cleared away most of her kampungs and farms and built hdb flats in its place. and it is illegal for us to rear lambs and goats in such areas, making it difficult for us to do animal sacrifices. so Jesus had to die so that we don't have to do it anymore.


• spca and many animal loving singaporeans will complain that christians ill treat innocent lambs and goats on top of every other reasons why a christian should be avoided at all cost.


• and neighbours will complain that our flats are always smelly.

2. because we cannot camp around a tabernacle

• imagine the tribes of tan, lim, ang, and other surnames pitching tent in the padang around the tabernacle that the book of leviticus was talking about. either the ura will be there to clear out the "slums", or we will be booked by police for illegal mass gatherings.


• we cannot worship in jail because the gahmen will keep us busy with courses to rehabilitate us into society ala "yellow ribbon" project.

3. because we do not have the levites to lead us in worship

• we only have the tribe of lee in charge of singapore..

4. because the desert is not a conducive place to fix singapore's declining birth rates

• 40,000 israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years dwindled to 2 that saw the promised land. after nearly 10 years of pro-baby policies, singapore's birth rate is still falling. 30 years later...

5. because we will stone overpaid charity directors

• for God's punishment for the really jialat cases of sin is to stone the person to death. with the outcry raised over a certain ceo of a certain kidney foundation, this poor bunch of people will probably be stoned by now.

6. because any public acts of worship is very leh-cheh

• first we have to get a license from mda for public performance, then maybe find the police for broadcast of music, and...


• it will cause ill-will amongst the other religious groups against us and might be deemed as "seditious".

and that, boys and girls, is why Jesus had to die for singapore.
it is not really done yet.. if anyone wants to contribute anything.. feel free to!

please read the disclaimer if you have anything against this post.

faith is...

faith is the strength to believe in what you cannot see.

faith is the little thing that does great wonders.

faith is the expectation of the rainbow after the storm.

faith is the five letter word that moves mountains.

faith is the power to part vast seas.

faith is what allows you to walk on water.

faith is what gives you the wings to soar higher than eagles.

faith is knowing that He will catch you when you fall.

faith is essentially trust in Him.

singing of Your amazing love

it felt like a breakthrough in my spiritual walk with God, and reaffirmed some things in my spirit, to have had performed at the evangelistic crossroads.

it was tough, since i have a high tendency to cry especially when the presence of God is in the place. but it feels good to know that my purpose for going up was not for my own glory, but to God's.

it was encouraging to know that we did well.

even though at this moment i don't know if what we did brought anybody to Christ, i take comfort in the fact that we played a part in planting a seed in pre-believers.

heartbreaks and stereotypes

*disclaimer: this post serves only to reflect the author's points of view and was not written for any express purpose of converting or dismissing any person's views.

"I totally agree on your point (that no gods exists), there is definitely no God. If there is, he/she/it is drunk, to allow so many bad things to happen." - lynne commenting on a blog

initially i was tempted to make a comment in response to the several who staunchly believe that there is no God, but refrained from doing so simply because i will prolly come across as narrow minded and whiny (omg you dare say God does not exist? *bitchslaps whine pout pout pout* i hate you i hate you i hate you!) if it was not worded properly.

that is not the way i want non-believers to see me as a christian.

i have already stated my case on why God allows bad things to happen to this world. good things have come out of the recent tsunami, and katrina is still an on-going thing so we cannot really say for sure. all i can point people to when they ask the classic "if your God is so good, why did He allow this to happen?" is what joseph said to his brothers, (simply paraphrased) that whatever was meant for evil, God meant it for good.

"for My ways are higher than yours" and "lean not on thine understanding" and the likes. (pardon me. i'm not really good at biblical quotations)

anyway, that was the first point of this post, elaborated before and reiterated again.

i don't think many christians zealots read that person's blog because all the comments in that particular post came from presumably non-believers.

maybe, just maybe, i was tempted to write something along the lines that goes "God exists you frigging idiot!!! and how dare you say (insert something they said about God) about my God?! my God is da best!!!!@!#@!$%@ you freaks will burn in hell!!!"

smells of a zealot huh?

i guess that's how some people think of us. christians are crazy Jesusfreaks, period. not a very flattering label, is it?

i'm sure many do not have a good impression of us. i've heard of friends complaining about members of a certain church in jurong being super persistent and draggy towards non-believers. i was on the receiving end from one of their members once upon a time and it nearly costed me a friendship.

say "christian" and invoke fear because this person might just drag you to church, and maybe insist you get baptised immediately, anytime soon.

there will always be the black sheep in our midst who will, be it intentionally or accidentally, tarnish the name and reputation of the entire group. afterall, the bigger the group grows, the more flak it receives?

ironically, other major religions such as buddhism or islam does not have the same effect. maybe it's because they do not have the Great Commission?

personally, i disagree with the approach some christians take in evangelising. but this matter is really a case of "to each of his own". i'd rather take the easier way out by living a good Christian life and showing, by example, what God has done in me, for me. of course, i cannot avoid the traditional evangelism techniques.

i know God exists, because He has worked in my life and still is working. whoever said God is dead/drunk/non-existent, i can tell you from personal experience you are wrong.

whether you believe or not depends on whether you want to believe. if your heart is closed off to the possibility that Jesus is alive, even if i were to invite Jesus Himself to a dinner party to meet you, you would not acknowledge Him as the Christ.

and there's also that one about God's perfect timing but i shall not go into that.

i think the post is becoming incoherent as it is.

tagalicious

List three random facts about yourself that your friends might not know. And then tag five other friends to do it.

and so i was ordered to by an inquisitive raymond. lol

1. the official story behind my name
for those who know my real real name (as in my birth cert spelling of my name marilyn) and never known why, here is the real story. it was merely a typo error by the clerk at the hospital that my parents did not correct. and so that name stuck with me through primary and secondary school. that was the time when i hated it most because everyone simply kept trying to make it sound like "meril living" or "meril veen" (looking back i felt like a pokemon. although they didn't exist in those times.)

now i just sit back and have a blast watching lecturers struggling to pronounce my name. the ones i will admire are those who are unfazed by the weird spelling and coolly breeze through it by calling me marilyn (if they figured it out) or by my markedly more normal sounding chinese name (when all else fails). hehe

this is kinda cheating i know cos i think quite a few of my friends would know this. haha. but who cares!!!

2. i share the same birthday with at least 4 other people i know
and i was once upon a time i was reaaallly upset because i really wanted to be special. and then i grew up and learnt that every 2 seconds a kid is born somewhere on this earth. means i technically have 30 (kids per minute) x 60 x 24 people with the same birthday as me. not so special anymore..

3. i once tried to eat a chicken magnet
ok so this is one of the more embarassing moments of my life but it was quite memorable. my neighbour offered me a magnet that looks like a chicken drumstick. i remembered one part of me was saying "don't eat it. it's fake!" but i went ahead and bit into it anyway. my mom and neighbour looked at me and promptly burst out into laughter and removed it from me. i must have been about 5 at that time.

beats me how i never noticed:
#1. my neighbour took the drumstick from the fridge door
#2. the chicken drumstick was flat at the back because it was a magnet
#3. the chicken drumstick was plastic

but wha-hey. i was young and foolish then.
now the deep dark secret thoughts and memories of lyn are out.

i am not tagging anyone cos all i know have already been tagged. whoever wants to do it just go ahead. do leave me a comment and i'll pop by to read it too. hehe. ;)

anyway tired out from schoolwork. =(

a tale of hate

sometimes i wonder what people who don't like me are thinking, when they make it clear to me that i am not in their good books.

maybe something along the lines of:

"oh no! x does not like me. i think i better go and die and make this world a better place because x does not like me. boo hoo hoo my life is over!"

it was true that once upon a time, i used to let what others thought of me control my actions and behaviour. and then one day my form teacher pulled me aside with well-intentioned advice: "you cannot please them all. do not run after them for it is not worth the effort."

and now, as i focus more and more on Christ, i realise how much lesser is the value of what others thought of me. especially if the person has no obvious reason to hate you. because at the end of the day, it is God who judges your actions, not man.

recently i've received some anonymous hatemail and even a hate site, and i am not sure why. this is the part that torments because you do not know who you've offended and why or what you have done to get such flak.

this brings to mind the biblical mantra of turning the left cheek when someone slaps you on the right.

i strongly believe that hatred takes up too much energy which could be otherwise channeled into something constructive. that is the basic principle i live by, and the reason why i do not troll blogs i don't like, or bother leaving comments on blogs that are not worth my time.

if you don't like it, don't read it. go somewhere else.

unfortunately some people do not see things the same way. just take a look at the number of anti-xiaxue sites and hate comments on her blog and you'll be astounded at the number of people who no time for anything but hatred. and that is only on the micro level.

now comes the hard part. how do you act "in love" towards someone who doesn't like you? when i shared this with my fellow crusader, she responded in the affirmative, saying that "it is the hardest thing to forgive someone who does not like you."

"I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow."
- William Blake "A Poison Tree"

i am determined not for the seed of the poison tree to grow. the spiral of hatred and vengeance should end and could end with a gentle approach of forgiveness.

Lord, i pray for the spirit to understand and to forgive those who trespassed against me, just like how You forgave and even died for those who persecuted You on the cross.