moved. =)

http://paper-roses.inthecrush.com/wordpress

frankly, it's getting a little tiring to toggle between livejournal and blogger, so everything will be consolidated there. after all, my walk with God should be my life.

don't worry 7km/h will still be around. =D

overloaded, sleepless night

it's 4 a.m. and i'm still awake. mun just went offline after counselling me a bit over a few things that has happened in my life.

i was pretty bummed out because i keep feeling condemned and helpless at my inability to release my bitterness to God. granted, my friend in the aforementioned post disappointed greatly, but it's no excuse to harbour unforgiveness in my heart.

it feels like shit to have to keep on listening to lies from the devil. mun asked me to list out some of them and i realise i am being fed the weirdest of lies i have heard so far: that i cannot shut the devil up.

of course by myself i can't. but by the blood of Jesus, i can.

thanks mun. i said the prayer you typed for me and i feel more peace now than i ever felt in the past couple of months or so.

i'm feeling pretty much burnt out. the past couple of days have been spent in my gen12ii boot camp that is designed to prep us for our mission trip and getting some of the admin done. so much to the extent i nearly neglected the following:

outstanding stall!
flea market @ tampines ave 4
12-13 may
1600 - 2200h

come find us! we're selling cookies, clothes, accessories, stuffed toys and a whole lot of stuff at cheap prices. all proceeds go into funding the two mission trips that i'll be going for.

much love to the outstandings. i appreciate you guys.

the pride of life

a friend (W) and i were talking about a mutual friend who i recently deem as officially backslided. a few people in church have been asking me about her.

W: i think you irritated her, seriously.
M: what did i do?!
W: i assume you tried to get her back into church?
M: half-hearted attempts i guess.

half-hearted attempts because i am not confident in getting her back to church. i know her character and i know i am in no position to force her to do anything.

whenever we broach this topic i find this really ugly feeling rearing its head within me. maybe it's a form of bitterness towards my friend for treating God as one of her three-minute playthings. once she's bored with God, she throws Him outside the window and that's the end of the story.

maybe it's just me. so what am i supposed to do now when Scripture specifically tells us not to let any bitterness take root in our hearts?

J once told me that the reason why he backslided was because religion seems to be a conditional thing. it's like a i'll-go-to-church-if-You-do-this deal between him and God. so now he decides to depend on himself - if anything screws up, it's his fault; and if anything goes well, it's his effort. i wonder if that is the same case for my friend.

pride is a dangerous thing.

as i write this, my heart is breaking all over again.


-----


i lost my train of thought.

don't think i'll be writing anything relatively profound for the time being. that is, if any of my stuff has ever been profound.

i should stop being so harsh on myself.

in pursuit of happyness

i went out with a friend today and she asked me a question that stumped me:

why do some people lead such charmed lives while the rest of us can't be as happy?

while i have been thinking and reading up a little bit on contentment and happiness in the Lord, we are looking here at people who are without God in their lives and still are leading lives with little or no hiccups. perhaps God spent a little more time with these people or something.

so... any views?


maybe i'll write more on this later...

frankly, my dear

i am testimony to dispute the belief that being christian means receiving the magical solution to the problems of this world.

you know that you're in too deep with a church when you start getting irritated by your fellow church mates. i was just sharing with the oikos about a certain emotional leech who has been trying to stick to me in church.

i admit, on my part i am not a particularly patient person when people seek my advice, subsequently reject it and continue whining about the same problems. when you abuse the listening ear i provide as a friend, you deprive yourself of that privilege.

i don't appreciate people unreasonably haggling for my attention when 24 hours a day is barely enough for me to settle the things i need to do. and i definitely have problems if someone starts saving my entire gallery of friendster photos for goodness knows what. and no, i don't think it's polite to interrupt the conversation to get my attention when i'm talking to my pastor about my missions project.

i am feeling extremely drained and very suffocated because it reminds me of the time when i was with my ex-boyfriend.

kat tells me not to take offense. i try not to. but sometimes, too much is too much.

this period is a rather sensitive period for me. i'm feeling the heat - maybe God is putting me through His refining fire, or i'm under spiritual attack - whatever it is, i am running on a really short fuse and i really would appreciate it if people around me would cut me some slack.

and while i understand that friends might be concerned, please refrain from contacting me unnecessarily. if i want prayer or anything, i'll ask. i'm really sorry but i do not have any patience to entertain anyone and i certainly do not want to have a reason to yell at people when their correspondence is well-intentioned.

the ride barely started and i'm drained and broke. maybe this is a sign that i am to fully depend on Him for strength.


as a postnote, i would just like to make a shoutout to my oikos. i have been really blessed by you guys and i thank God that He brought this group of wonderful friends into my life. thank you.

trusting God

the exams are finally over at long last. this is one of the toughest semesters i have had so far, and i thank God it's over.

new challenges await for me this coming holidays: 2 mission trips and possibly catching up with friends and following up with a new christian friend i got to know over the meta camp.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. 22If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." - Matthew 21:21-22

the task ahead looks daunting, especially the support raising i have to do for my mission trips. but i told God i'll trust Him, it's time to remind myself of this promise i made to Him.

theparablejourney blog was not, and will not be created in vain.

Jesus at the window

Dear J,

You asked me about forgiveness. I hope this story would be a blessing to you.

- M


A little boy visited his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with in the woods. He practiced, but couldn’t hit the target.

Getting discouraged, he headed back to dinner. As he walked back, he saw Grandma’s pet duck. Out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved. In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch that day Grandma said, “Sally, let’s wash the dishes.” But Sally said, “Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.” Then she whispered to Johnny, “Remember the duck?”

So Johnny did the dishes. Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Grandma said, “I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.”

Sally smiled and said, “Well that’s all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help.” She again whispered to Johnny, “Remember the duck?” So Sally went fishing, and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing his chores, and Sally’s, he could stand it no longer. He went to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt beside Johnny and said, “I know: I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.”

Thought for the day: Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done that your conscience spirit won’t let you forget, (lying, debt, fear, hatred, anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, etc.), whatever it is, Jesus Christ was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. He wants you to know that you are forgiven. He wonders how long you will let the past make a slave of you.

Remember, God not only forgives you, He forgets.


Post taken from Kev's blog