when He said that it is done.

joshua harris recounts a story told by rebecca pippert about a lady so consumed with guilt over aborting a child from pre-marital sex:

"I have done something even worse than killing my baby. My sin is what drove Jesus to the cross. It doesn't matter that I wasn't there pounding in the nails, I'm still responsible for His death [...] I came to you saying I had done the worst thing imaginable. And you tell me I have done something even worse than that."

while i may not have aborted a baby before, i have lost count of the number times have i crucified Christ with my sins, even after i became a christian.

i was just reading boy meets girl by joshua harris, a present from my oikos for my birthday, and the truth about amazing grace struck me all over again.

self-righteousness is tricky business. it weighs so heavily in my heart i simply have to comment on it, if not for others' sake, then mine.

in harris' book, he writes:

"Self-righteousness is also expressed by the person who refuses to accept God's forgiveness. "I just can't forgive myself," she says. 'Maybe God can, but I can't.' It might appear pious, but statements like these are really a form of reverse pride that says, 'My standards are higher than God's.'"

i forget how many times i have promptly returned to self-bashing after asking God for forgiveness for the sins in my life. there is always that condemning voice telling me that i have to do more to gain God's forgiveness, to be in the right standing again with God. i am not worthy of forgiveness and so i don't forgive myself even though the bible clearly says that i have been forgiven.

so what am i trying to do? prove that i'm holier than God?

well, here's a revelation: we're not holy. we will never be holy. nothing we do will ever make us of the same standing as God. Romans 3:23 tells us "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

that's what makes the Cross so amazing. we are given a way back to our Heavenly Father through the redemption at the Cross. no one comes to the Father except through Jesus.

it was a reminder for myself that exceeding pride in the knowledge of man, and the works that we have to do to earn our way to heaven, is dangerous - we take pride in what we know, what we did, turning away from what Jesus has already done for us.

did paul not write "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling" (phil 2:12)? he didn't tell us to work for, but to work out. God has already given us salvation through Jesus and there is nothing we can do to add to His works. Jesus put the full stop when He said "it is finished" at the Cross.

"Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ. Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you for the prize. Such a person goes into great detail about what he has seen, and his unspiritual mind puffs him up with idle notions. He has lost connection with the Head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.

Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." - Colossians 2:16-23

with that in mind, i thank God for the amazing grace that He has given me, an undeserving sinner.

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a few comments from people regarding my recent post about my past as a really misguided catholic made me feel a little vexed at how people imply at other ways of reaching God.

generally, the implications i get are "attend a (religious) class!"; "give the ________ faith a chance!" and "you are misguided and your faith is simply irrational and i feel so sorry that you've chosen the wrong thing."

while i have nothing against knowing more, i have expressed before that i expect people to respect my beliefs - i am a christian who believes in the redeeming work that Jesus did on the cross, i am a sinner saved by grace. i don't think anyone appreciates random strangers telling you how to live in your faith.

if you have a problem with what i believe in, remember that choosing Jesus was my personal and conscious choice and i don't need anyone worrying on my behalf where my soul goes after i die.

i thought i closed the case with the post that followed that entry. apparently not. let me say this one last time: the point of this blog is just to air my personal thoughts. i am not always correct in what i think, i certainly hope i don't give the impression that i act smart. i definitely do not aim to forcefeed my religion/beliefs to anybody.

secondly, remember that when you speak in your capacity as an/a atheist/christian/muslim/buddhist/hindu, you are, like it or not, speaking as a representative of your own faith. after all, christians get their bible-thumping reputation because there are many people out there who give that impression when they speak in their capacity as a christian, no?

if i gave anyone the idea that i am holier-than-thou or a bible-thumper (thump thump), i ask that the readers point it out to me and i'll humbly apologise. otherwise, please move on unless you have a point that will add value to the discussion.

for the record, i do have plans to attend bible college. don't worry, i don't intend to wallow in the pit of ignorance for long.