of fasts and prayer...

we wrapped up campus day of prayer last night. there's that bittersweet feeling - the relief that the event finally ended, and the sadness that the fun seems to be over.

either way, the past two weeks have been long and hard for me, but i'm thankful that God brought me through these two weeks and showed me what it really meant to fast:

“Fasting is pretty much like a Spiritual Detox! Fasting can be pretty confusing at times, because of the very nature of the cleansing process. Fasting has a way of bringing every nasty habit and irritation you’ve got just bubbling to the surface. You will notice that if you have a bad temper hidden down there where no one else (but God and yourself) can see, then it will come right to the surface and you’ll start roaring at people. Be patient and be encouraged, and don’t give up. The Lord will clean you out.”

- Adapted from “The hidden Power of Prayer and Fasting” by Mahesh Chavda.

a friend reminded me of this when i shared how upset i was about fasting - i've been anything but godly the past two weeks. there is the common perception that fasting is supposed to be a time of purity and godliness and holy living and what not. well, guess what? it's not. one lesson i've learnt from the two weeks of fasting is that God doesn't want us to be holier-than-thou, because we can never be holy and perfect. what God needs is for us to break down, and go to Him for our spiritual fixing, that we may be strengthened in Him to continue doing His work.

one "rule" i stick to when i fast is that a fast is not a fast unless you sacrifice something that mattered to you. daniel (vegetarian) fasts are therefore out of the question because everyone who ate with me enough times know that i can survive very well without meat. the real challenge for me is when i give up eating altogether.

i don't work well when i'm hungry. it didn't really help that i was rushing for CDP preparation AND half a dozen tutorials. i was very upset at one of the tutors in school because he consistently and unreasonably barred me from using the school computers to edit a video i was rushing for the event (actually i thank God that i didn't manage to use my school's computers. it would have been another problem.). i was bitchy, moody and emotional the past two weeks, tutorials and readings were piling in and crushing me with their weight. the video i stayed up to do somehow screwed up. for the first time in my life, i found myself tossing and turning in the middle of the night because of a project that was not even academically related.

in the midst of my storms, God still made a way for me and everything worked out fine. the whole experience of fasting and being part of the organising committee for campus day of prayer was enriching, albeit frustrating.

as thanksgiving,

firstly, we experienced the blessings of answered prayers. to cut a long story short, we were unable to secure the venue until very late. eventually the administration offered us the nanyang auditorium free of charge. the auditorium was huge and is probably the best place in school that we could ever hope to hold an event in.

secondly, i realised how God could use me to work creatively for event publicity and the video as long as i let Him take creative control. i owe this mostly to the prayers of the pcomm as well as faye, they all knew how stressed i was over these things. =)

thirdly, the entire video-making ordeal/experience from the production to the post-prod process further affirmed in my spirit that God placed me in mass communications for a reason. in 2005, i was all set to head to NUS to major in literature, yet i applied for NTU's communication studies. for some reason, i accepted NTU's offer despite having said before that i never wanted to come to this school.

last but not least, the event itself brought me a new sister-in-Christ. she was a girl who used to make my life hell in secondary school, you could say she was the class bitch. last night she made right with God and asked for forgiveness for what she did during our secondary school days. i saw a life that was wholly transformed by Christ, a girl who possibly is on fire for Him and i was really glad for her.


it was quite a stressful and tiring fortnight. nevertheless, i'm glad for the spiritual refreshing that the Lord gave. i've tasted how good my Heavenly Father has been to me and i'll continue to pray for amazing things like this to come my way. it may mean difficult times, but if i come out of it knowing that God made me stronger, it's all worth it.

tough times are temporal and inevitable, but my God is eternal. hallelujah!