spirit - willing; flesh - weak

and the saying goes: "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"
almost cliched but you always hear this line in that apologetic tone, sometimes sheepish at the speaker's seeming inability to get something done.

today that phrase took on a whole new meaning for me.

i wanted to go for my first oikos (cell group) but hey whadaya know? a whole truckload of factors happily hindered me from going. what supremely irritated me was the fact that i was down with a bad headache and mild sore throat (plus a possible infection of my gums rendering me slightly speech impaired) and that at the time when i'm supposed to prepare to go out, i suddenly felt really sleepy.

the spirit was hyped up and ready to go. she had her best dress on, bag packed and shoes strapped on. she was smiling and jumping and eager to take off. but the flesh was still in that dingy old school tee and shorts, lying dead on the bed and praying real hard that the suffering will come to pass.

i say that phrase, but without apology.
i am not even sure what to feel now.

pastor tay's words kept echoing in my mind: "the spirit man must be stronger than the flesh! must fight against the inclinations of our earthly nature!"

ok so those were not his exact words but hey, the meaning remains the same.

i think i should be ashamed of myself.