a fat girl's prayer

"I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth. Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you." (Isaiah 46:3-4)

dear God,

i'm oh so tired of living. today i watched the telly and all i see are slim pretty girls flaunting their fat-free selves. every alternate advertisement is about weight loss programmes, or products which miraculously shed the pounds from one's flabby waist. why does it seem like happy people are always the thin people?

one is not spared when they go out either. everywhere around me i see posters of diet pills and slimming programs promising "results". and then you flip the newspapers to read about that girl who nearly died because of slim 10. (so what if it was quite some time ago? the danger is still there.)

i'm so miserable even around my loved ones. my friends all call me hippo. my boyfriend says i look like a bouncer. even my mother calls me "ah pui kia"*.

i know You want us to love ourselves, God. but it's hard to when the capitalist system insists that slim is "in". i get so disillusioned now that the only thing i like about myself is my shadow at 0700 and 1700 hours, when she is tall, slim and of a perfect complexion.

oh Lord, if You do not want to make me slim, at least make my friends fat...

Amen.

*****

* ah pui kia - hokkien for fat girl

disclaimer: this entry is purely fictional and does not, in any way, reflect the attitudes of the writer's boyfriend, friends and mother. also, the writer was writing in jest towards the end of her "prayer" (she loves her friends). no fats were harmed (yet) in the production of this entry.